With so many PU students of Karnataka in dilemma, my predicament was no better. Prior to the announcement of the results, there were a lot of expectations set on me by parents, teachers, relatives, friends and all who knew me. For every student, his board exams are something that, without exception, trigger a vast amount of seriousness into the student, making him or her work harder to achieve their targets. Most students, start becoming more and more serious about their board exams from around December, when the major chunk of syllabus would have been completed.
However, during this time, I had to attend an Intensive Revision Camp at my Coaching Institution, a decent 45 day program that would help me improve my performance for the JEE (MAINS) exam, a qualifier test, I had been preparing for two whole years. The dream of getting into a prestigious IIT had been planted into my mind around 3 years ago, and I decided to make the most of my opportunities. I willingly took to it. But what happened during the course was an ultimate disaster. The wall of confidence that I had built around myself, shattered as I completed the program. I quickly came to the conclusion that this is probably out of my reach. I wasted a good 45 day period to just disintegrate my confidence, while other people had used it very effectively to improve their board performance. When all this was settled, I was in for a new surprise. I had successfully cleared an All India Level Competitive exam KVPY (Kishor Vaigyanik Protsahan Yojana) and was supposed to attend the interview towards the end of February. Amidst all this mess, preparing for my board exams was nothing less than a Mission Impossible for me. And I was really happy with my performance soon after the exams. Mission Accomplished yeah!!!
But when the results came, it was a total shock. English, Physics and Chemistry were like right on the dot…in short, I got what I should have. Math, Bio and Hindi, however made all the difference. The moment I saw the marks in these subjects, I was completely devastated.Among the six subjects I had written, these three were supposed to be the best papers, especially Math and Bio, which I was hoping full marks. The worst part was that, after consulting the teachers and obtaining the photocopies I realized I had made no mistake in the papers at all. The valuation itself was faulty. What could get worse? Well, I am coming to that part. I got 96 in Biology and 99 in Mathematics, papers which I have made no mistake, and due to some rules, I cannot claim re-valuation(Re-evaluated marks are effected if there is a change of more than 6 marks).
With this situation at hand, I went to my college to talk to my teachers. Initially, they too felt bad for me. But, three of my senior biology teachers whom I met that day, told me one thing. True, that my score was not as expected. True, that it was not my mistake. Someone else was to be blamed of causing this loss to me. But, they reminded me that whatever happens, happens for a reason, and it is best not to judge the immediate effect of it, without perceiving the long term effect. They told me, “Don’t worry. Sometimes, its just luck. And probably something better is in store for you.”
Slowly, I felt better. These whole five-six months have taught me that being disheartened will not help in anyway. Problems are in everyone’s lives. Whether you fight them with a smile on your face and hope alongside or not, is in your hands. And hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. In fact, hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.